


with everything falling down around me, i'd like to believe in all of the possibilities

by Schriftstellerexcerpts



Series: tangled up in you [6]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21740311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schriftstellerexcerpts/pseuds/Schriftstellerexcerpts
Summary: “And I also know that you and your mom haven’t talked since,” Wynonna tells Nicole.Waverly stares at Nicole. “You haven’t?” She asks. “You told me that you guys talk on the phone every week.”Nicole rubs the back of her neck. “About that,” she says, her voice low. “We haven’t talked since the Thanksgiving dinner.”“Then why would you tell me otherwise?” Waverly asks, an edge to her voice that makes Nicole uneasy.“Never mind that right now, babygirl,” Wynonna says. “This is exactly what we need, Haught. A road trip. You, me, and the road all the way to New York.”
Relationships: Waverly Earp & Nicole Haught, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Wynonna Earp & Doc Holliday, Wynonna Earp/Doc Holliday
Series: tangled up in you [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1524716
Comments: 1
Kudos: 73





	with everything falling down around me, i'd like to believe in all of the possibilities

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, all. Sorry it took me so long to get this up. This chapter was hard for me to write for some reason. In this one, Wynonna and Nicole embark on a road trip. Nicole and Waverly have a much needed conversation. Nicole and her mom finally talk about things. 
> 
> As always, all feedback is welcome. Thank you so much for reading. It truly means a lot to me. 
> 
> Also, if you guys want to see what I'm up to when I'm not posting on here, you can add me on Snapchat. My username is Scounts04.

Nicole wakes up to her phone beeping, letting her know that she has an incoming text. She groans in her sleepy state and rolls over in the bed. She reaches for Waverly, but her hand meets empty sheets.

“Waves,” she says, her voice strained from sleep.

When Waverly doesn’t reply, Nicole sighs and reaches for her phone.

_From_ _Chrissy Nedley, 8:25 A.M: Are you up?_

“I am now,” Nicole grumbles.

_To Chrissy Nedley, 8:26 A.M: Yup. What’s up?_

Nicole sets her phone back down and gets out of bed. She rubs her face in order to wake herself up some more and goes into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Once she’s done with that, she makes her way to the living room and smiles when she sees Waverly in the kitchen. She’s got a pair of Nicole’s old, grey sweatpants and one of Nicole’s old t-shirts that has bleach stains all over it on.

“No wonder I can never find any of my sleep clothes,” Nicole says as she walks into the kitchen.

Waverly turns around at the sound of Nicole’s voice and her eyes go wide. “Nicole,” she says.

“Damn, Haught,” Wynonna says from her spot near Waverly. Nicole didn’t see her because the cabinet had been blocking her.

Waverly pushes on Nicole’s bare torso, making her walk backwards. “Go put a shirt on,” she tells Nicole.

“Don’t worry about it, babygirl,” Wynonna says, waving a dismissive hand. “I’ve seen Haught naked plenty of times.”

Nicole glares at Wynonna.

Waverly stops pushing Nicole backwards and stills. “She’s seen you naked?” She asks Nicole. She turns to Wynonna. “You’ve seen her naked?”

“Dozens of times,” Wynonna says. “She’s seen me naked more times than I can count.”

Waverly turns back to Nicole and narrows her eyes at her. “Exactly why have the two of you seen each other naked so many times?” She asks.

Nicole looks down at her bare chest and blushes. “Uh, Waves, I’d like to have a shirt on for this conversation,” she says.

“Don’t get shy now, Haught,” Wynonna says. She takes a sip of the freshly squeezed orange juice.

Nicole stumbles backwards and rushes back into her bedroom.

Waverly glares at Wynonna. “Why have you seen my girlfriend naked?” She asks.

“Calm down, babygirl,” Wynonna says. “It’s not like Nicole and I have slept together. Well, actually, we almost did one time, but that-“

“You almost what now?” Waverly asks, crossing her arms over her chest. Wynonna can practically see the steam coming out of her ears.

Wynonna scratches her head. “Uh, nothing,” she says quickly. “I mean, we used to play a lot of strip poker together and I walked in on her taking a shower once. And I always used to walk around naked before the two of you got together.”

Nicole comes back to the kitchen and stops in her tracks when she sees the look on Waverly’s face.

“You guys almost had sex?” Waverly asks Nicole, pointing between Wynonna and Nicole.

“I was gone for one minute, Wynonna,” Nicole says exasperatingly. She runs a hand through her hair. “Look, baby, it wasn’t a big deal. We didn’t actually sleep together. We just made out.”

“There was definite touching, too,” Wynonna adds.

“Fucking hell, Wynonna,” Nicole barks.

“Why did you guys almost sleep together?” Waverly asks. “And don’t you dare lie to me, Nicole Rayleigh Haught.”

Nicole rubs the back of her neck. “It was after that New Year’s party we had when Wynonna and I were Sophomores,” she tells Waverly. “You know, the one where we, uh, had a huge fight.” She clears her throat. “Well, a couple of weeks after that, Wynonna and Doc had called it quits and I was getting nowhere with Shae. The two of us got drunk and we, uh, made out.”

“You just made out?” Waverly asks, almost daring Nicole to lie.

Nicole looks at Wynonna before she looks back at Waverly. “I guess you could say that we…touched certain areas,” she says. “But we stopped before anything really happened.”

“I can’t believe that you almost slept with my sister,” Waverly says.

“It’s not a big deal, Waves,” Wynonna says, setting her glass of orange juice down. “We weren’t in a good headspace and we just wanted to feel something, you know?”

“I guess so,” Waverly mutters.

Nicole reaches for Waverly. “I never had any intention of sleeping with her,” she tells Waverly. “You’re the only girl for me, Waverly Earp.”

Waverly smiles. “Sweet talker,” she says, pinching Nicole’s side. “Is there anything else I should know about the two of you?”

Wynonna shakes her head. “Nope,” she says.

Nicole kisses Waverly’s forehead. “Good morning, baby,” she says softly.

Waverly leans into Nicole’s touch. “Good morning, my sweet love,” she says.

“Barf,” Wynonna says. “Look, can we get to the real reason that I came over here?”

“Oh, you actually came over here for a reason?” Waverly asks. “Not just to eat all of our food?”

“Okay, I came over here for two reasons,” Wynonna says. “First of all, this freshly squeezed orange juice is the tits,” she tells Waverly. “Second of all, look out the window.”

“Do we even want to?” Nicole asks, raising her eyebrows. “The last time you told us to look out the window, there was a scooter that you claimed to have souped up.”

“I _did_ soup it up,” Wynonna says matter-of-factly. “That thing soared.”

“It almost set you on fire,” Nicole deadpans.

“You can’t knock it for having one bad experience with it, Nicole,” Wynonna says. “Anyway,” she drags out, her voice a pitch higher than what it was before, “look out the window.”

Nicole walks over to the window with Waverly right behind her and furrows her eyebrows when she sees an old, rusty van with “TACOS ARE TASTY” written in spray paint on the side of it.

“It’s a van,” Nicole says slowly, moving slightly to the side so that Waverly could get a better view of it.

“Not just any van,” Wynonna says, rubbing her hands together. “This baby is what the youth call a microbus.”

“Wynonna?” Waverly says.

“Yeah, babygirl?” Wynonna questions.

“What is a van doing in the parking lot of our apartment complex?” Waverly asks.

Wynonna claps her hands together. “I’m glad you asked,” she says. “Nicole and I are going to drive to The States in the microbus. More specifically, we’re going to drive to New York.”

Nicole blinks more times than necessary. “We’re what now?” She asks.

Wynonna taps the counter island with her hand and snaps. “Sit down, Haught,” she says, reaching for a glass out of the cabinet. “Have a drink of this fine orange juice that your girlfriend made.” She pours some of the orange juice into the glass and slides it over to Nicole, who sits down at the counter island. “Your mom lives in New York,” she says.

“This I know,” Nicole says.

“And the two of you haven’t really talked, you know?” Wynonna says, leaning into the counter. “I mean, you guys have talked, but you guys haven’t _talked_ talked.”

“Where are you going with this, Wynonna?” Waverly asks, only slightly annoyed. She and Nicole haven’t seen each other much this week and this was the one day that the two of them could just be. Nicole is on break from classes at the Police Academy and Waverly doesn’t have any classes for the next couple of days.

“I’m getting there, babygirl,” Wynonna tells her. “We all know that the Thanksgiving dinner we had was a disaster.”

Nicole winces at the memory.

“And I also know that you and your mom haven’t talked since,” Wynonna tells Nicole.

Waverly stares at Nicole. “You haven’t?” She asks. “You told me that you guys talk on the phone every week.”

Nicole rubs the back of her neck. “About that,” she says, her voice low. “We haven’t talked since the Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Then why would you tell me otherwise?” Waverly asks, an edge to her voice that makes Nicole uneasy.

“Never mind that right now, babygirl,” Wynonna says. “This is exactly what we need, Haught. A road trip. You, me, and the road all the way to New York.”

“I don’t know, Earp,” Nicole says. “I mean, I doubt my mom even wants to see me and New York is, like, over a day away.”

“Why wouldn’t your mom want to see you?” Wynonna asks. “She’s your mom. She loves you.”

Nicole shrugs.

“I think it’d be good for you,” Wynonna says. “And if we go to New York and you don’t want to see her, then that’s okay. We can do something else while we’re there.”

Nicole looks at Waverly. “What do you think about this?” She asks.

“Does it even matter what I think?” Waverly fires at Nicole, her jaw clenched.

Nicole sighs. “If you don’t want me to go, then I won’t go,” she says.

“You’d go either way,” Waverly says. “You lie to me about everything else so why should this time be any different?”

Nicole frowns. “That’s not true,” she says.

“I’m gonna go feed Lany,” Waverly says before she disappears into the other room.

“She’s pissed,” Wynonna says flatly. “Way to go, Haughtshot.”

“It was easier to tell her that things between my mom and I were fine than to tell her that we haven’t talked since the Thanksgiving dinner,” Nicole tells Wynonna. She runs a hand through her hair. “I don’t know if I should go on a road trip right now. Waves is on edge and I know she wants to go.”

“She and Chrissy are going to Toronto for a few days,” Wynonna says.

“I know,” Nicole says. “I just don’t want her to be pissed that we’re going.”

“I don’t think she’s pissed about the road trip,” Wynonna says. “It seems to me like she’s pissed because you keep hiding things from her.”

“Look, it’s not that simple, okay?” Nicole says, sighing. “I don’t tell her some things because I’m protecting her.”

“Protecting her from what?” Wynonna asks, furrowing her eyebrows.

“From me,” Nicole says. There’s a beat of silence before Nicole says anything else. “I’ve got demons, Wynonna. She shouldn’t have to fight them with me.”

Wynonna pinches the bridge of her nose. “Why is it you always act like an idiot when it comes to my baby sister?” She asks Nicole. “She wants to help you, Nicole. Why won’t you let her?”

“I’ll destroy her, Wynonna,” Nicole says. “She’s so good, so pure. All of my shit will drive her away.”

“You know what will drive her away?” Wynonna asks, her eyes narrowing on Nicole. “Constantly lying to her and telling her that everything is okay. You’re going to end up pushing her away and then what, huh?”

Nicole looks down. “It’s not that simple,” she says.

“Yes, it is,” Wynonna says. “You need to go talk to her. I know you love her and she loves you, too, but you’ve got to get your head out of your ass.”

“You’ve got to get your head out of your ass, Nicole,” Wynonna had said a couple of years ago during halftime of the championship basketball game.

“She doesn’t want to talk to me right now,” Nicole says.

“She’s your girlfriend, numb nuts,” Wynonna says. “Of course she wants to talk to you. Stop being a hoser.”

“I’m not being a-“

“Yes, you are,” Wynonna says, interrupting Nicole. “Now, go. I’ll be out here eating and watching TV.”

Nicole turns on the balls of her feet and makes her way to her and Waverly’s bedroom. When she gets in there, Waverly’s sitting on their bed reading a book.

“Baby?” Nicole calls softly, leaning against the doorframe.

Waverly doesn’t look up from her book.

Nicole walks further into their bedroom and shuts the door behind her. She sits down on their bed at the edge of Waverly’s feet. “Ever since we got together, I’ve always had this fear that you’re going to leave me for somebody else,” she tells Waverly. “For someone better than me because everyone in this town knows I’m not good enough for you.” She watches as Waverly sets down her book and looks at her with concern in her eyes. “And I thought that if I hid all of the bad parts of myself away from you, then maybe, just maybe, you’d wanna be with me forever. I know that’s incredibly selfish of me, but it’s how I feel.” She moves closer when Waverly beckons her to do so. She caresses Waverly’s face. “You’re the love of my life, Waverly. I couldn’t bare it if you left me. I know how needy that sounds, but I can’t help it. I need you.”

“Baby, I’m not going to leave you,” Waverly assures Nicole. “You think you don’t deserve me? Well, I hate to break it to you, honey, but you do. You deserve all the love and happiness in this world and I’m so very grateful that I get to be the one to bring you some of that joy.” She leans into Nicole’s touch and smiles. “You don’t have to hide from me. I’m not here to judge you or to make you feel like your emotions aren’t valid. I’m here to help you heel. You’ve been through some shit, baby. We both have. I tell you everything; I’m always open with you so how do you think it makes me feel when my older sister knows more about you than I do?”

Nicole reaches for Waverly’s hand and intertwines their fingers. She smiles at the way they fit, as if she was only ever meant to hold Waverly Earp’s hand. She’s always felt that way, like her entire body was meant to be one with Waverly’s; like she was meant to love Waverly. “I’m not going to hold back anymore,” she vows. “I’m sorry I’ve been so closed off. It’s just that being with you still feels like a dream.”

“It’s not a dream, baby,” Waverly says, scooting closer to Nicole. “What I feel for you is very, very real. We were meant to be.”

Nicole’s eyes fill with a whole lot of love mixed with fire. “Meant to be,” she breathes out. She brings she and Waverly’s entangled fingers up to her mouth and kisses the back of Waverly’s hand. “Are you okay with Wynonna and me going on this road trip?”

Waverly leans in and kisses Nicole soft and slow. It’s filled with desire and sweet, sweet, emotion. “I think it’d be good for you,” she says when the two of them pull away from each other. “You just gotta let me know what’s going on in here,” she says, tapping the side of Nicole’s head softly.

“What if my mom doesn’t wanna see me?” Nicole asks, letting go of Waverly’s hand and standing up. “That Thanksgiving dinner was brutal, Waves. I mean, the fighting and the tears. The way she left.” She rubs her face with her hands. “What if Wynonna and I drive all the way there and my mom just sends us on our way?”

“You get your ways from your mom, you know?” Waverly says. “She hides her feelings just as much as you do. That’s what the two of you have been doing this whole time. You’ve been dancing around each other, too afraid to say what you really mean. I think that Wynonna is right. You guys need to have a real conversation.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Nicole says. She walks over to their closet and pulls out a suitcase. “No more running from my problems, eh?”

Waverly grins, a smile full of adoration and proudness. “I wish I could go with you,” she says after a moment, her face falling a little. If she had it in her, she’d call Chrissy right now and tell her that she can’t go on their mini vacation. She can’t do that, though. Chrissy’s been too excited to get out of Purgatory, if only for a few days. And Waverly and Chrissy haven’t been able to spend a lot of time together. Chrissy’s been too caught up in getting her cosmetology license and Waverly’s been too busy driving back and forth from the Big City to go to college.

Nicole sets her suitcase down on their bed. “Me, too, baby,” she says softly, offering Waverly a small smile. “You know, this is the first time we’re gonna be apart since-“

“We took a break,” Waverly finishes for Nicole, sadness in her eyes. “That was the longest five months of my life.”

“Same here,” Nicole says, walking over to their shared dresser and pulling out a couple t-shirts. She’s not sure if she should take her The 1975 t-shirt or her Rex Orange County t-shirt to go with her black jeans. She decides to take both. She can figure out which one to wear later. “Looking back now, that break was stupid. Not talking to you somehow made me fall even more in love with you.”

“And seeing you with Shae made me want to rip my eyes out,” Waverly scowls, her eyebrows pressed together.

Nicole laughs softly and rubs the spot between Waverly’s eyebrows, coaxing her to relax. “I was never in love with Shae,” she tells Waverly.

“Not even for a brief moment?” Waverly asks, playing with the ends of the t-shirt she has on.

Nicole shakes her head as she folds a pair of jeans. “It’s hard to fall in love with someone when your heart already belongs to someone else,” she says.

Waverly pushes Nicole’s suitcase to the side and kneels on their bed in front of Nicole. She reaches for the collar of Nicole’s t-shirt and plays with it. “I love you,” she breathes out, her voice lovesick and honest.

“I love you, too,” Nicole says back, pressing a gentle kiss to Waverly’s forehead.

Waverly leans into the kiss and wraps her arms around Nicole’s neck. “I’m gonna miss you,” she tells Nicole.

“It’s just a week, Waves,” Nicole reminds Waverly.

Waverly lets her hands fall to Nicole’s waist. “I won’t be able to touch you for a week,” she pouts. She drops her hands even further and settles them on Nicole’s ass. “I’ll miss your butt most of all.”

Nicole shakes her head and laughs. “You’re something else, Waverly Earp,” she says and even she can hear how hopelessly in love she sounds.

Waverly leans in and kisses Nicole sweetly. “A good something else?” She asks.

Nicole rubs circles on Waverly’s hips with her thumbs. “The _best_ something else,” she assures Waverly. She gives Waverly’s waist a soothing squeeze before she pulls away and reaches for her suitcase. “You gotta stop distracting me, though. Wynonna’s out in the living room waiting for me.”

Waverly gets off of their bed. “You sure you guys aren’t gonna kill each other being all cooped up in that van?”

Nicole puts her folded clothes in her suitcase. “I think she and I kinda need this, you know?” She says. “Sure, we see each other every day, but it’s been awhile since we just hung out. We’re either too stressed from the Academy or too busy with other things.”

“I feel you on that one, baby,” Waverly says, grabbing a couple of pairs of socks to put in Nicole’s suitcase. “Chrissy and I definitely need this mini vacation.”

Nicole nods in agreement. “I already packed socks,” she tells Waverly.

“I know,” Waverly says. “Those are extra. You need to pack some extra boxers, too.”

Nicole obliges and walks over to their dresser to pull out a couple more pairs of boxers. “Always looking out for me, eh?” She says.

Waverly smiles. “Of course,” she says. “You’re my best baby.”

Nicole grabs her headphones and sets them inside of her suitcase. “Am I forgetting something?” She asks mostly to herself.

“Your belt,” Waverly says, setting it in Nicole’s suitcase.

“What would I do without you?” Nicole asks, pulling Waverly in for a kiss.

“You’d probably never do the damn dishes. That’s for sure,” Waverly teases, taking the sting out of her words with a kiss.

Nicole lightly taps Waverly’s ass and smiles. “Get outta here,” she tosses over her shoulder as she zips up her suitcase. “Let me pack in peace. I don’t need your negativity.”

“Okay, okay,” Waverly says, laughing softly. “One more kiss and then I’ll go and make you and ‘Nonna some breakfast.”

“Deal,” Nicole says, beaming as she leans in for a kiss.

“One more,” Waverly beckons, cradling Nicole’s face in her hands.

Nicole leans in for another kiss.

Waverly kisses Nicole again. “One more,” she says against Nicole’s lips.

Nicole smiles in between kisses. “Baby,” she tries.

“One more,” Waverly says again, pushing herself against Nicole. She slips her tongue into Nicole’s mouth and smiles when Nicole lets out a soft moan.

“Waverly,” Nicole tries again, though she doesn’t pull away when Waverly leans in for another kiss, this one all teeth.

Waverly nips at Nicole’s bottom lip. “A quick one?” She asks, pushing Nicole backwards towards their bed.

Nicole’s eyes go wide. “Your sister is in the living room,” she reminds Waverly.

Waverly groans. “Dammit,” she huffs. “I forgot she was here. We can be quiet.”

Nicole laughs. “You? Being quiet?” She says. “Sure.”

Waverly softly hits Nicole on her chest. “I can be quiet,” she says.

“Okay, baby. Whatever you say,” Nicole says, a smile on her face.

Just as Waverly’s leaning in for another kiss, their bedroom door opens and in peaks Wynonna.

“Seriously?” She asks, her eyebrows raised. “I figured the two of you would be fighting in here. I should’ve known you’d be feeling each other up.”

Nicole blushes and pulls away from Waverly. “I’m all packed,” she tells Wynonna. “Just need to get my toiletries and then change.”

Wynonna nods before she looks at Waverly. “Don’t worry, babygirl. I’ll be sure to keep my hands to myself on this trip.”

Waverly glares at Wynonna. “I mean it, Wynonna,” she warns, pointing an accusing finger at her older sister. “Don’t you dare try and make a pass at my girlfriend.”

Nicole excuses herself and goes into the bathroom to grab her toiletries.

“I’m just messing with you, Waves,” Wynonna says, laughing. “I don’t think of Haught that way. She’s my best friend, remember?”

Waverly visibly relaxes. “She was my best friend before I fell in love with her,” she points out.

“Please,” Wynonna scoffs. “The two of you were never best friends. You’ve always been a couple, even before you knew you loved each other.”

Nicole comes out of the bathroom and puts her toiletries in her suitcase. “She’s not wrong,” she tells Waverly.

Waverly smiles. “No, she’s not,” she agrees. “You guys make sure to take care of each other on this trip. Got it?”

Nicole nods. “Got it, baby,” she says.

“Yeah, got it, baby sis,” Wynonna confirms.

“And you,” Waverly says, turning to Nicole, “promise to call me at least once a day?”

“Of course, my love,” Nicole says.

“Good,” Waverly says, a content smile on her face. “Okay. I’m going to go and make the two of you some breakfast.”

“Thanks, babe,” Nicole says as she walks over to their closet and looks for an outfit to wear.

Once Waverly leaves the room, Wynonna sits down on Waverly and Nicole’s bed. “I take it you guys worked things out?” She guesses.

Nicole nods, looking through all of the clothes she has hung up. “Yeah. We’re good,” she says. She grabs a pair of denim jeans and an oversized white t-shirt. She sets them on the bed and grabs a pair of socks out of the dresser. “How’d you even get that minibus anyway?”

Wynonna beams. “One of Doc’s friends sold it to him for cheap,” she says. “I was the one who convinced him to buy it. Isn’t it nice?”

Nicole sits down on the edge of the bed and puts her socks on. “For sure,” she says. “I especially like the spray paint on the side.”

“I spray painted that on there,” Wynonna tells Nicole.

Nicole laughs softly. “You don’t say?” She says.

Wynonna tosses her hair over her shoulder. “It’s gonna be so nice to get out of Purgatory for a little bit,” she says.

Nicole shrugs. “I like it here,” she says.

“I do, too,” Wynonna says. “Well, more so my little circle of people rather than the town itself,” she adds. “But we get to go see the Big Apple. I mean, isn’t that cool?”

Nicole nods. “Definitely,” she says. “I just wish Waves could come.”

“I do, too, kinda,” Wynonna says. “The three of us could always go on a road trip some other time.”

Nicole reaches for her jeans and slides them on. “Oh, for sure,” she agrees. “Yeah, we could go to California or something. Waves has never seen the ocean.”

Wynonna picks at her nails. “The Haught Earp’s take on California,” she says. “Sounds like a TV show or something.”

Nicole smiles and takes her t-shirt off. “You sure you got everything you need for this trip?” She asks.

Wynonna nods. “I’m all set,” she says. “The best part of driving a minibus is we don’t have to worry about booking hotels. We can just pull over at a rest stop and sleep on the mattress I put in the back of it.”

“You put a mattress in the back of that?” Nicole asks as she puts on her white t-shirt.

“Yeah, Doc helped me,” Wynonna tells Nicole. “It actually is really cozy in there. I have little lights hung up around the back. It’s homey.”

Nicole grabs her white Converse and puts them on. “You went all out,” she says.

Wynonna nods. “Best for my best, yeah?” She says.

Nicole grabs her suitcase off of her and Waverly’s bed and kisses Wynonna on the forehead. “C’mon,” she says softly, already making her way to the hallway, “let’s go have breakfast with our girl.”

—

“You promise to take care of each other?” Waverly asks as she shuts the back door to the minibus. She reaches for Nicole, seeking comfort because watching her baby leave for the week is almost unbearable for her. She hates being without Nicole.

“We already promised that earlier,” Wynonna says, only slightly annoyed. She’s ready to get on the road. More importantly, she’s ready to have Nicole to herself for a change.

Waverly glares at Wynonna.

Nicole rubs up and down Waverly’s back. “We promise, baby,” she assures Waverly. She’s almost sure she can hear “Love Someone” by Lukas Graham playing somewhere in the distance.

_“And you still look perfect as days go by. Even the worst ones, you make me smile. I’d stop the world if it gave us time.”_

Waverly pecks Nicole on the lips. “I love you,” she says, leaning in for another kiss.

Nicole smiles against Waverly’s lips. “I love you, too,” she says, pulling Waverly into a much needed hug.

“Oh, come on,” Wynonna huffs, rolling her eyes. “You guys are going to see each other in seven days. Can you seriously not keep it in your pants for that long?”

Waverly rests her head on Nicole’s chest. “I’m allowed to miss her, ‘Nonna,” she tells Wynonna. She pulls away from Nicole, but not without one more kiss. “I’m gonna miss you, too, you know?”

Wynonna waves a dismissive hand. “Cool beans,” she says.

“Wynonna,” Waverly says.

Wynonna walks over to Waverly and kisses her forehead. “I’ll miss you, too, babygirl,” she says against Waverly’s forehead, placing another kiss there. “I’ll make sure Haught calls you every day and I’ll be sure to text you every chance I get.”

“That’s all I ask,” Waverly says, smiling. “I love you, Wynonna.”

“I love you, too, sis,” Wynonna says. She walks to the driver’s side of the minibus and opens the door. “So long, Purgatory. See you in a week.”

Nicole opens the passenger side door and looks back at Waverly. “Did I mention that you look breathtakingly beautiful this morning?” She asks, her dimples on full display.

Waverly blushes. “Enough with that sweet talk, Nicole Haught, or I might just have to take you right here for all to see,” she says.

Nicole beams. “I could get on board with that,” she teases.

“Go,” Waverly says, wrapping her arms around herself. “The sooner you leave, the sooner you’ll come back home to me.”

Nicole blows Waverly a kiss before she gets in the minibus and shuts the door. She stares out of the window at Waverly, her hand on the glass. She doesn’t understand why it’s so damn difficult to leave Waverly for a short while. It feels like a piece of her is going to be missing during this trip.

“Suck it up, Haught,” comes Wynonna’s voice from the driver’s side as she starts the minibus. “This trip is going to be so much fun.”

Nicole doesn’t take her eyes off of Waverly as Wynonna backs the minibus out of the parking space they’re in. She tries to ignore the aching in her heart as they turn onto Main Street, which makes Waverly look like a speckle.

“You’re so whipped,” Wynonna says as she messes with the radio dial.

Nicole snaps out of her haze. “I am not,” she huffs. She smacks Wynonna’s hand off of the radio dial and flashes through the radio stations before she settles on a decent one. “This is a good song.”

_“Swervin’. How you look so perfect on your worst days?”_ A Boogie wit da Hoodie sings.

Wynonna taps along to the beat on the steering wheel. “I figured we could drive until we get to North Dakota. That’s about a twelve hour drive so we’ll get there around ten o’clock tonight with the stops we make along the way,” she says.

Nicole checks her phone for a text back from Chrissy. Sure enough, she has one that was sent nearly an hour ago and another that was sent not too long ago.

_From Chrissy Nedley, 8:35 A.M: Tell Waves to text me back._

_From Chrissy Nedley, 9:15 A.M: Never mind. She just did. Road trip with Wynonna? Have fun (:_

_To Chrissy Nedley, 9:32 A.M: Sorry, Chris. I wasn’t on my phone. And, yeah, we just left Purgatory. Take care of Waves while I’m gone, yeah? Hope you guys have a blast on your mini vacation. Be safe. Call or text if you need anything._

“Sounds good,” Nicole says, setting her phone down in the cup holder. “You did a good job decorating this thing.” She looks behind her at the mattress laying in the back and the string lights hung up on the walls. Wynonna was right, it’s cozy. “Life on the road doesn’t seem too bad, eh?”

Wynonna grabs the can of Mountain Dew from one of the cup holders and takes a long drink from it. “Just you, me, and the road,” she says, setting the can of Mountain Dew back down in the cup holder. “And music,” she adds.

Nicole smiles and grabs her phone. She FaceTimes Waverly and waits for her to answer.

“Seriously, Haught?” Wynonna asks, glancing at Nicole before she looks back at the road. “We haven’t even been gone an hour and you’re already calling my sister.”

Nicole rubs the back of her neck with her free hand. “I can’t help it, okay?” She says. “It’s hard being away from her.”

Before Wynonna can say anything back, Waverly answers and her face takes over Nicole’s phone.

“Hey, baby,” Nicole says, smiling. She reaches out with her index finger and runs it along Waverly’s face.

Waverly smiles and waves at Nicole. “Hi, you,” she says. “Miss me already?”

Nicole feels tears burn in her eyes because of course she already misses Waverly. She’s not used to being apart from her. Part of her wants to tell Wynonna to turn around and go back home because all Nicole wants to do it hold Waverly and watch endless documentaries with her. That’s all she wants to do for the rest of her life. She’s known that for awhile now.

“I forgot to say bye to Lany,” Nicole tells Waverly, swallowing the lump in her throat; the one that almost makes her ask Waverly to marry her right now.

Waverly angles the camera down to where Lany is laying his head in her lap. “There’s our boy,” she says and Nicole can hear the smile in Waverly’s voice.

“Hi, bubba,” Nicole says. “Mommy misses you already. Take care of your mama while I’m gone, okay? She’s gonna need extra cuddles.”

Waverly puts the camera back on her face. “I miss you, baby,” she says softly, almost sheepishly, and Nicole is almost sure that she can see Waverly’s eyes gloss over.

“I miss you, too, Waves,” Nicole says.

“You do?” Waverly asks and Nicole feels so bad about the way Waverly’s voice wavers because Waverly always needs reassurance. And Nicole is always there to give it to her, to make sure she knows just how much she’s loved. Nicole would crawl to the ends of the Earth on her knees if Waverly asked her to. She hates that Waverly’s parents did this to her, that Champ did this to her. Both Waverly and Wynonna are broken because of their parents, because of their childhood. And Champ broke Waverly in ways that Nicole’s not sure she can ever repair, but she will never stop trying.

“Of course I do, babe,” Nicole says. “You’re my girl.”

Waverly beams at that. “Your girl,” she breathes out.

“Okay, enough,” Wynonna says, blindly reaching for Nicole’s phone.

“Wynonna, stop,” Nicole says, smacking Wynonna’s hand away. “I’m allowed to talk to my girlfriend.”

“You just saw her,” Wynonna points out. “Stop being so needy.”

Nicole flinches at that. “I’m not…” she stops, looking back at Waverly who has a concerned expression on her face. “Sorry, Waves, I didn’t mean to be needy.”

“What?” Waverly asks. “You’re not needy, baby.”

Nicole relaxes a little. She doesn’t want to be the girl who can’t go without seeing her girlfriend for more than five minutes. Wynonna teases her about it all of time and she acts like it doesn’t bother her, but it does. Because her mom did this to her. Ever since Nicole’s mom walked out on her and her dad, Nicole’s had this anxious side of her — the side that tells her that those who are close to her will leave her if she’s not constantly checking up on them.

Nicole shoots daggers at Wynonna. “I’ll call you later, Waves,” she says, putting on her best smile for her girlfriend. “I love you.”

Waverly blows her a kiss and adds a wink for good measure. “I love you, too,” she says. “And you, too, ‘Nonna.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Wynonna mumbles.

“Try not to kill each other,” Waverly says before she blows Nicole another kiss and hangs up the phone.

“Can we please focus on the road trip now?” Wynonna asks, turning the volume up a little.

Nicole leans back into her seat, coaxing herself to relax. “Yeah,” she says. “Wanna play the license plate game or something?”

“Oh, Haught,” Wynonna says, putting one of her hands on her chest in mock astonishment. “You’ve got it bad for babygirl if you’re offering to play that game when she’s not even here.”

“Let’s play the license plate game,” Waverly had said just a couple of months ago when the three of them made a trip to the Big City to visit Nicole’s dad.

“Take a hike,” Nicole murmurs.

“Get my bag,” Wynonna says. “It’s behind my seat.”

“Why do you need it?” Nicole asks. “You’re driving.”

“Just get me the bag, Haught,” Wynonna says more urgently.

Nicole huffs and grabs Wynonna’s backpack. “Here,” she says, setting it on the middle console.

Wynonna unzips the front pocket zipper with her free hand and pulls out a aux cord. “You thought I forgot to bring it, didn’t you?” She asks Nicole, a smile on her face.

Nicole shrugs. “It wouldn’t surprise me if you did,” she tells Wynonna.

Wynonna plugs the aux cord into the radio and hands the end of it to Nicole. “Here,” she says, “play your music. Nothing obnoxious, though.”

Nicole plugs the end of the aux cord into her phone and scrolls through her songs. She decides to play The Weeknd’s “Starboy” Album.

“Good choice,” Wynonna says. “Now sit back and relax, Haught. I know you’re tense.” She takes a sip of her Mountain Dew. “The Academy has been really stressful recently and the two of us haven’t gotten the opportunity to just be. Think about it, though. In a few months, we’ll be graduating and Nedley already offered the both of us jobs. We’re set, Haught. We’ve got our little family, right? So whatever happens with your mom, we’ll handle it together, okay? Like always. I’ve got your back.”

Nicole nods in agreement, smiling. “You’re right, Earp,” she says. “Thank you.”

“Now let’s listen to music and focus on just being,” Wynonna says.

“I can do that,” Nicole says, already feeling herself relax.

_“Don’t stop your lovin’, walk out on me. Don’t stop for nothing, you’re what I bleed,”_ The Weeknd sings. _“I learned to love you the way you need. ‘Cause I know what’s pain, this is not the same.”_

—

“Wake up, Haught,” Nicole hears Wynonna say in her dream. “Haught,” her voice comes again and this time Nicole opens her eyes.

Nicole tenses up immediately at the unfamiliar surroundings. She looks around and calms down when she realizes where she is. “How long was I out?” She asks Wynonna, her voice raspy.

“A few hours,” Wynonna tells her as she shuts off the ignition. “We’re about five hours outside of North Dakota. Think you could drive until we get there? I’m beat and starving. Also, we need gas.”

Nicole looks at the gas station they’re at. It’s a very small one and it’s rundown, but as long as they have some chips, Nicole will be fine. “For sure,” she says, stretching. “You wanna pump the gas and I’ll go inside and get us some snacks?”

Wynonna nods. “Sounds good,” she says, opening the door. “Will you get me some-“

“Cheddar and Sour Cream chips with a Mountain Dew?” Nicole guesses.

“You know me well,” Wynonna says before she hops out of the minibus.

Nicole gets out as well and checks her phone for any missed calls or texts from Waverly.

_From Waverly Earp, 1:05 P.M: How’s the trip going?_

_From Waverly Earp, 1:32 P.M: I miss you. It’s cold and lonely with you here._

_From Waverly Earp, 2:00 P.M: Baby?_

_Missed call from Waverly Earp, 2:42 P.M._

_From Waverly Earp, 3:08 P.M: Wynonna just sent me the cutest picture of you sleeping. Ugh. I wish you were here._

Nicole smiles at the texts and calls Waverly as she walks into the small gas station. The bell above the door rings when she walks inside of the building and the guy behind the counter offers her a, “Hey, how’s it going?”

Nicole acknowledges the guy with a wave and a, “Good, you?”

“Can’t complain,” the guy says back just as Waverly answers the phone.

“Baby,” comes Waverly’s voice, all bubbly and joyous. It makes Nicole’s heart sing.

“Hi, cutie,” Nicole says as she scans the aisles for some snacks. “How’s it going?”

“Good,” Waverly says. “Chrissy came over. We’re making some vegan grilled cheese.”

“Yes,” Nicole says excitedly when she finds her favorite candy — the Watermelon Sour Patch Kids.

“Huh?” Waverly questions.

“Sorry, baby. I found the candy I wanted,” Nicole tells Waverly. “Anyway, grilled cheese sounds good. You guys having fun, then?”

“Yeah,” Waverly says, but it doesn’t contain any excitement. “I just wish you were here.”

Nicole grabs the candy, then continues scanning the aisles for chips. “Me, too, babe,” she tells Waverly. “You and Chris are gonna have so much fun, though. You guys both deserve a vacation.”

“I guess so,” Waverly says and Nicole can practically see Waverly mindlessly playing with whatever item is in front of her right now. “Okay, I’ll be there in a sec,” she tells someone before clearing her throat. “I gotta go. Chrissy just set up a board game for us to play.”

Nicole grabs the chips and makes her way to the cooler. “Okay. I don’t know if I’ll get the chance to talk to you again today unless you’re up later tonight. I’m on driving duty for the next fives hours until we get to North Dakota,” she says, grabbing the sodas. She cradles her phone in between her ear and her shoulder.

“I’ll stay up so you can call me,” Waverly vows, her voice lighter now. “I love you.”

“You, too,” Nicole says.

“Like you mean it,” Waverly pushes.

Nicole walks up to the counter and sets the items down. “I love you, too, Waves,” she says, louder this time. “Go have some fun.” She hangs up the phone and tucks it into the back pocket of her jeans.

After she pays for the items, she goes back outside and gets into the minibus. Wynonna’s already got it started and she’s in the passenger seat, leaned back with her eyes closed.

“Here you go, Earp,” Nicole says as she sets the sack down on the middle console. “Eat up. We’ll stop for some real food once we get to North Dakota, yeah?”

Wynonna, still with her eyes closed, nods. “You got it,” she murmurs, on the verge of sleep. “Wake me up in an hour or so. I’ll eat the snacks then.”

Nicole puts her seatbelt on and puts the minibus in drive. “Okay,” she says.

A few moments pass and Nicole’s sure that Wynonna fell asleep until Wynonna starts talking.

“Haught?” She says softly.

Nicole swallows the chip in her mouth. “Yeah?” She questions.

“You’re the best,” Wynonna says before she lets sleep take over her body.

Nicole smiles and focuses on the highway. This is what it’s all about. She has her family. Her dad, who has never betrayed her trust or wavered on loving her. Gus, who respects her and gives her words of wisdom. Wynonna, who inspires her everyday to be a better person and to love with everything in her. Waverly, who loves her on her good days and her bad days. And the rest of their friends, who make her feel complete. No matter what happens with her mom, she knows that she’ll always have her family. And, damn, does that feel good.

—

“And this is from that time when Waves thought it’d be a good idea to cut her own hair,” Wynonna says, showing Nicole a picture of third grade Waverly on her phone. “Do you remember that? It was around the same time you were learning to play the guitar.”

Nicole pops a fry into her mouth and nods. “I remember playing my guitar and watching Waverly walk into the room with her knee-highs on. I about broke one of the strings,” she says. “Where’d you find all these pictures anyhow?”

Wynonna scrolls through the countless amount of pictures she has on her phone. “I found a tote full of old pictures in the garage at Gus’. I took photos of practically all of them,” she tells Nicole. “Oh, look at this one.” She holds her phone up so Nicole can see the picture. “It’s you and me snowboarding.”

Nicole smiles. “I remember that,” she says. “It was in fifth grade. We thought we were hot shit.”

“We _are_ hot shit,” Wynonna says. “Look it. Here’s one of you and babygirl in middle school.”

Nicole blushes at the picture. It’s one of her and Waverly sitting on the bed in Nicole’s room. Nicole has a snapback on backwards and Waverly is so terribly close to her. Nicole’s blushing and Waverly’s laughing because of the stained lipstick kiss on Nicole’s cheek. “That was the first time she ever kissed me on the cheek,” she tells Wynonna.

“I should’ve known then,” Wynonna says, something soft in her voice. “Look at how Waves is looking at you. It’s like the moon and the stars are lining up.”

Nicole takes a drink of her milkshake. “She’s so beautiful,” she breathes out. “Even during that one summer where she practically lost all of her teeth and had an uneven haircut, she was still so damn beautiful.”

Wynonna grins. “You’ve always been so soft when it comes to her,” she says.

Nicole shrugs. “She’s the best thing to ever happen to me,” she declares.

“And here I was thinking that I was the best thing to ever happen to you,” Wynonna says, feigning shock.

Nicole picks up her burger and laughs softly. “Of course you’re one of the best things to ever happen to me,” she tells Wynonna. “But Waves,” she says, her voice filled with nothing but love and adoration. “Waves is _the_ best thing to ever happen to me.” She takes a bite of her burger and chews it up before swallowing it. “She saved me. It’s like…it’s like all of my worst days were never really that bad because I had her. And when I wanted to give up on her; when I wanted to do nothing more than get over her, she was right there reminding me why I love her. Without her, I wouldn’t be who I am today. She’s my better half, my greatest love — the love of my life.”

“You should say that,” Wynonna says casually.

“What?” Nicole asks, confused.

“You should say that when you propose to her,” Wynonna tells Nicole.

“When I what now?” Nicole asks, shocked.

“Oh, c’mon, Haught, you and I both know that you want to propose to her,” Wynonna says.

“Wynonna, we’re both in school still,” Nicole reminds her. “It’s not the right time to propose.”

“But you want to,” Wynonna observes.

Nicole sighs. “Of course I do,” she admits. “I want nothing more than for Waverly to be my wife, but it’s not the right time.”

“That’s fair,” Wynonna says.

The two of them got to North Dakota less than an hour ago and decided to stop at a diner to eat before they have to find a rest area to park in for the night. It’s late, nearly eleven o’clock now, which means it’s ten o’lock back in Canada.

“Speaking of Waves,” Nicole says, swallowing the fries she had put in her mouth, “I’m supposed to call her. She said she was gonna wait up for me to call, but I bet you she’s passed out with a book in her hands right about now.”

Wynonna nods. “Yeah, you’re probably right about that,” she says. She takes a couple of sips of her soda. “I’m gonna go and call Doc.” She gets up and tosses a twenty on the table.

“I was gonna pay,” Nicole says, her wallet in hand.

“Don’t sweat it,” Wynonna says. “It’s on me.” She waves a goodbye to the waitress, then heads outside.

Nicole puts her wallet back into her pocket and grabs her phone. She calls Waverly, but there’s no answer, just like she expected.

“Hey, baby,” she says into the phone after the beep. “It’s me. We made it to North Dakota about an hour ago and we just got done eating. Our waitress was really nice and so funny. You would’ve liked her.” She fiddles with her straw wrapper with her free hand. “Anyway, now we’re about to go and find a rest area to park in for the night. We’ve gotta get up early so that we can make it to Chicago by tomorrow night.” She smiles as the waitress walks over to the table. “I just wanted to call to let you know that we made it to North Dakota. I miss you. Wynonna’s been a pain in my ass, but this trip has been good for us so far. I don’t know. I feel like in some way it’s bringing us closer together, you know? I love you, Waves. Sleep tight. I’ll talk to you in the morning.” She hangs up her phone and puts it back into her pocket.

“Girlfriend?” The waitress asks as she reaches for Wynonna and Nicole’s dirty plates.

Nicole nods. “Yeah,” she says, smiling.

“How long have you guys been together?” The waitress, Bailey, asks.

“Two years,” Nicole tells Bailey. “Almost three.”

“She’s a lucky girl,” Bailey says softly. “Sorry,” she says quickly. “That wasn’t me coming onto you. I just meant that you seem like a real nice girl.”

“No worries,” Nicole says. “I gotta say that I’m the lucky one, though. I’ve been in love with her since we were kids.”

“Do you have a picture of her?” Bailey asks.

Nicole pulls out her wallet and takes out a wallet-sized picture of Waverly holding a bouquet of sunflowers that Nicole had gotten for her. The sun is bright and beaming and it makes Waverly’s eyes sparkle. “That’s her,” she tells Bailey.

“Wow,” Bailey breathes out. “She sure is beautiful.”

“Isn’t she?” Nicole says, rubbing her thumb over Waverly’s face. “Sometimes I gotta pinch myself because I can’t believe that she’s really mine. Everyday, she chooses to love me and I thank my lucky stars for that; for her.” She looks over at Bailey and blushes. “Sorry. I just really like her.”

“Don’t apologize for love, red,” Bailey says. “Not to me.”

Wynonna comes back into the diner, her eyebrows furrowed. “Hey,” she says and Nicole notices how tense she seems. “You ready to go?”

Nicole stands up and nods. “Yeah,” she says. “It was real nice meeting you, Bailey.”

“You, too, red,” Bailey says, smiling. “And you, Wynonna.”

“I don’t get a cool nickname like Nicole Haught-to-Trot here?” Wynonna asks, feigning hurt.

Bailey laughs softly. “Okay, okay,” she says. “How about I call you Amazon?”

“Amazon?” Nicole questions, eyebrows raised.

“Yeah,” Bailey says. “It’s comes from Greek Mythology. It means ‘strong and tall.’”

“I’ll take it,” Wynonna says. “Call me Amazon from now on, Haught.”

“This reminds me of that time you told everyone to start calling you Wynster,” Nicole says, cringing at the memory.

“That nickname would’ve stuck if you would’ve actually called me it,” Wynonna says. “Almost everyone in our fourth grade class called me that, but you refused to.”

“You’re welcome for that,” Nicole says. “I did you a favor.”

“Whatevs,” Wynonna says. “You see how I get treated, Bailey? I’ll tell ya, it’s not an easy task being friends with Haught here.”

Nicole rolls her eyes in mock annoyance.

Bailey grins. “I wish I had a friendship like the one you guys have,” she tells them.

“Maybe you will one day,” Nicole says softly, offering Bailey a smile. “Never give up hope, though. Hang onto it, even on the bad days. That’s what I did with Waverly and I’ve always hoped that Wynonna and I will be friends forever and even longer than that.”

—

_“Goin’ to the jeweler, bust the AP, yeah,”_ Offset sings. _“Sliding on the water, like a jet ski, yeah.”_

“This song?” Nicole asks exasperatingly. “Really?”

Wynonna head bobs along to the song. “It’s a good song,” she says.

“It’s overplayed,” Nicole argues.

“Because it’s good,” Wynonna fires back.

Nicole groans and grabs her headphones from the pocket on the side of the door. “This is exactly why I packed these,” she tells Wynonna, plugging the end of the headphones into her phone.

“Stop being a baby,” Wynonna says, turning the volume up on the radio.

Nicole pops her headphones in and drowns her ears in the sound of Summer Walker singing.

Sleeping in the minibus was definitely an experience. The rest area they parked at was kind of sketchy so Nicole didn’t sleep much. She was on edge all night, constantly waking up and getting out of the minibus to investigate the rest area.

Wynonna was dead to the world as soon as her head hit the mattress. She slept soundly all night and even cuddled up to Nicole throughout the night. Nicole didn’t mind, especially since there was something bothering Wynonna. She hasn’t said what it is yet, and Nicole hasn’t pushed. Wynonna will tell her when she’s ready.

“At least keep one out so I can talk to you,” Wynonna says.

Nicole huffs and pulls one earbud out of her ear. “There,” she says.

Wynonna doesn’t talk for the next hour and she seems to be lost in thought. Nicole notices that her knuckles turn white around the steering wheel. She almost asks Wynonna what’s going on, but Wynonna finally speaks before Nicole can say anything.

“Doc is an asshat,” she mumbles and Nicole almost doesn’t hear it.

“Why’s that?” Nicole asks, pausing her music.

Wynonna shakes her head and squeezes the steering wheel even tighter. Her whole body tenses and her jaw is locked. “When I called him last night, Rosita answered the phone,” she tells Nicole.

“Seriously?” Nicole asks, raising her eyebrows. “They were together?”

“Apparently,” Wynonna says. “I asked her why in the hell she was answering Doc’s phone and she said that he was busy working on his car.”

“But why was she there?” Nicole asks, confused. “I thought she was out of town working on a welding project.”

Wynonna sighs. “I don’t know,” she says. “When Doc came to the phone, I snapped on him. He kept saying that nothing was going on and that she was just spotting him while he worked on his car, but I’m not sure if I believe him.”

“He wouldn’t cheat on you,” Nicole tries to assure Wynonna. “He loves you. I know Doc. He’s not a cheater.”

“He used to be a player,” Wynonna reminds Nicole.

“That was in high school,” Nicole points out. “He’s changed a lot since then.”

“What if he hasn’t?” Wynonna asks and Nicole catches the slight crack in Wynonna’s voice. “I mean, what if he’s still the same player he once was? I know the two of us haven’t exactly identified what our relationship is, but we’re basically together. He knows that.”

“Maybe you guys need to have a conversation about that,” Nicole suggests. “It might be time to identify what your relationship is. I know he’s waiting for you to say the words, Earp. He’s been waiting for a long time to give you the world.”

“It’s not that simple,” Wynonna says wearily.

“It can be,” Nicole says.

“No, it can’t!” Wynonna shouts, making Nicole jump at the sudden outburst. There’s a beat of silence, besides the music that’s barely audible. “My parent’s relationship was shitty. There were days it got so bad that I thought about packing a bag and leaving. I was four-years-old when I had those thoughts,” she tells Nicole. “Four-years-old,” she emphasizes. “I don’t want a relationship like that. I’m _terrified_ of having a relationship like that.” She sighs. “My parent’s were so in love when they first got together and they were so happy. Then something switched. They both turned cold.” She shakes her head, as if trying to wash all of the bad memories away. “Keeping Doc at an arms length away is good for me, but I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to take that step and fully commit myself to him.”

Nicole just stares at Wynonna for a minute. “It’s okay to be scared,” she tells Wynonna. “Love is very scary. I’m still terrified of being with Waverly because of how much I love her. I’m scared that one day she’s going to wake up and decide not to love me anymore.” She takes a deep breath in, then lets it out. “But then I tell myself that I can’t live like that. Wynonna, you can’t go through life being scared all of the time. Your feelings are valid and they’re real, but at some point you’re going to have to stare your fear right in the eye and tell them to fuck off. The moment you do that is the moment you’ll truly allow yourself to be happy.”

“It’s hard, Nicole,” Wynonna says, her tight grip easing on the steering wheel. “I keep on willing myself to get over my fears and move past them, but it’s so damn hard.”

“I know that,” Nicole says. “You don’t think I know that?” She asks, tapping herself on the chest. “After my mom left, I didn’t think I was capable of ever fully giving into my feelings for Waverly because if my mom could leave so easily, then there was no hope for anyone else in my life to stay.” She lets out a long, drawn-out sigh. “But I had to push past that constant fear and that was when I told myself that no matter what it takes, I will show Waverly everyday that I love her and that she can always count on me.”

“It’s different with you and Waverly,” Wynonna says. “We all knew that the two of you were going to end up together.”

“I didn’t,” Nicole says. “Do you not remember the countless amount of times I shut everyone out and turned my music all the way up just to drown out the thought of Champ and Waverly together?”

“Of course I remember,” Wynonna says. “But even then, I knew that you guys were going to end up together. It was meant to be.”

“How do you know it’s not meant to be with you and Doc?” Nicole asks. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Wynonna. You’ve had him wrapped around your finger for years now.”

Wynonna shrugs. “It’s complicated,” she murmurs.

“Okay, just think about it,” Nicole says. “How far out are we from Chicago?”

“About three hours,” Wynonna tells her. “Day’s gone by fast, hasn’t it?”

Nicole nods. “We’re getting closer and closer to New York,” she says, trying to hold back a shudder.

“It’s gonna be alright, Haught,” Wynonna tries to assure Nicole. “Remember what we talked about.”

Nicole sighs, but puts on a small smile. “I know,” she says.

—

“Look, baby, it’s the Bean,” Nicole says as she flips the FaceTime camera so that Waverly can see the Chicago Bean.

“It’s so pretty,” Waverly says. “I wish I was there.”

“Me, too,” Nicole says, flipping the camera back around on her face. “How’s Lany?”

“Hey, Haught,” Wynonna says, giggling. “I’m flicking the Bean.”

Nicole shakes her head, but laughs all the same.

“He’s good,” Waverly tells Nicole. “He’s been ornery, though. I think he misses you.”

“I miss him, too,” Nicole says. “You all packed for your trip?”

Waverly nods. “I have everything,” she says. “Except you,” she adds a little sadly.

“Five more days, then I’ll be home,” Nicole tells Waverly.

“The bed is so cold without you,” Waverly says. “I miss having your arms wrapped around me.”

“I miss it, too,” Nicole says. “Instead, I get to have Wynonna punching me in her sleep and then lying practically on top of me.”

“I do not lie on top of you,” Wynonna scoffs. “Your body just happens to be in my way.”

“No funny business, you two,” Waverly warns.

“Can you hang up now?” Wynonna asks. “I’m, like, starving so we need to find somewhere to eat. And I’m super tired. We gotta rest up, Haught. We’re still twelve hours outside of New York.”

Waverly laughs. “Now who’s being needy?” She teases.

“Can it, Waverly,” Wynonna mutters, but there’s nothing but love in her voice. “Look, Haught will call you in the morning. Right, Nicole?”

Nicole nods. “That’s right,” she says. She looks at Waverly. “You look beautiful tonight, Waves.”

“I’m in a baggy t-shirt and my hair isn’t brushed,” Waverly says flatly.

“Your best look,” Nicole tells her. “You always look beautiful.”

“Barf,” Wynonna says, fake gagging.

“Thank you, baby,” Waverly says, blushing. “You do, too.”

“I love you,” Nicole says, her voice softer than she intended it to be.

“I love you, too, Nicole Haught,” Waverly says proudly. “Now go feed my sister before she gets pissy because we both know that she gets hangry really easily.”

“On it,” Nicole says, a smile on her face. “Bye, Waves.”

“Bye, baby,” Waverly says, blowing Nicole a kiss before she hangs up.

“Okay,” Nicole says, putting her phone in her pocket. “It’s late. Let’s see what restaurants are still open, yeah?”

Wynonna nods, already walking towards the street. “I could really go for some pizza,” she says.

Nicole rubs her hands together, her tongue peaking out of her mouth. “That _does_ sound good,” she agrees. _“C’mon, c’mon,”_ she sings.

_“With everything falling down around me. I’d like to believe in all of the possibilities,”_ Wynonna sings the next lyrics to Panic! at the Disco’s “C’mon.”

—

“Move over,” Wynonna grumbles, attempting to push Nicole further over on the bed.

“I’m as far over as I can go,” Nicole mumbles, sighing.

Wynonna tries to fluff her pillow. “This damn thing isn’t working,” she huffs. “It’s as flat as can be.”

“Do you want to switch?” Nicole asks.

“No,” Wynonna murmurs. She’s quiet for a moment before saying, “Yes.”

Nicole switches their pillows and turns over. “Goodnight,” she says, already on the edge of sleep.

“Doc hasn’t called me,” Wynonna says.

Nicole pinches the bridge of her nose because all she wants to do is right now is sleep. “He’ll call,” she tries to assure Wynonna.

“How do you know?” Wynonna asks.

“Because he loves you,” Nicole says, rolling back over so she’s facing Wynonna. “Sometimes he just acts like a ditz when it comes to you. It happens to the best of us.”

“Like you with Waverly,” Wynonna says.

“He’ll call,” Nicole says again.

Wynonna rolls away from Nicole, pulling the blanket up and over her head. “Okay,” she says. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Nicole says back, eyes closed.

—

_From Waverly Earp, 12:35 P.M: Look at this._

_Attachment: One image._

Nicole smiles down at her phone. It’s a picture of Lany asleep on the couch, his head perched up on the throw pillow. He has a blanket over him, the one with flowers all over it that Waverly bought in the Big City.

_From Waverly Earp, 12:37 P.M: Jeremy sent me that picture when he went over to feed Lany lunch. How spoiled is he?_

_From Waverly Earp, 12:38 P.M: Lany, I mean. Not Jeremy. Lol._

_To Waverly Earp, 12:40 P.M: He sure is cute, though, isn’t he? I also mean Lany. Haha. How’s the drive to Toronto?_

“That line was so long,” Wynonna says as she gets back into the minibus. “And look at this shit. There’s so much grease that it’s seeping out of the bottom of the bag.”

Nicole cringes. “I wouldn’t even eat it if I wasn’t starving,” she says. “Skipping breakfast was a bad idea on our part.”

“Agreed,” Wynonna says, reaching inside of the bag for her hamburger.

_From Waverly Earp, 12:45 P.M: It’s good. We’re listening to Taylor Swift with the volume all of the way up. You were right. This trip is going to be fun._

_To Waverly Earp, 12:46 P.M: I’m glad you’re gonna have fun, baby. We’re about eight hours outside of New York. I’ll call you in a bit._

“Let’s get this show on the road,” Wynonna says as she puts the minibus in drive and zooms out of the parking lot. “Have Waves and Chrissy left for Toronto yet?”

Nicole nods, a mouthful of hamburger in her mouth. After she swallows, she says, “Yeah. They just left not too long ago.”

Wynonna merges back onto the highway. “I’m so ready to be in New York,” she tells Nicole. “I didn’t realize how exhausting all of this driving was gonna be.”

Nicole nods. “It’s starting to smell like feet in here,” she says, her nose wrinkling up.

“You smell that, too?” Wynonna says, laughing softly. “It might be because of all of our dirty laundry piled into the corner.”

“That could be the cause,” Nicole says, chuckling. “I have one request before we go on our next trip — a built-in shower and toilet.”

“I’m not gonna argue with you on that one,” Wynonna says. “I’ll make that Doc’s next mission.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Nicole agrees. “I’ll even help him with it. Those truck stop showers are not the greatest.”

“Finally someone said it,” Wynonna says.

Nicole laughs softly. “This trip has been fun, though,” she admits. “Just you and me and the road.”

“It’s refreshing,” Wynonna says. “I know you miss Waves and I can’t blame you for it, but it’s been good to get away from everything, you know? Right here, right now it’s just you and me.”

Nicole smiles. “We really need to start making more time for us, yeah?” She says.

Wynonna nods. “That’d be nice, yeah,” she agrees. “Oh, we could go to Pussy Willow’s.”

Nicole makes a face. “That place is…” She trails off.

“Amazing? Sexy? Fun?” Wynonna guesses.

“An experience,” Nicole goes for. “But the drinks are good.”

“The drinks are so good,” Wynonna agrees. “And don’t you even try and deny that you don’t like the strippers. I’ve caught you looking.”

Nicole blushes. “You have not,” she says.

“I have,” Wynonna says. “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”

Nicole rolls her eyes playfully. “Focus on the road, eh?” She says.

Wynonna smiles. “I’m glad we’re friends, Haught,” she says.

“Me, too, Earp,” Nicole says, smiling widely. “Me, too.”

—

“I can’t do this,” Nicole says as she stares at the door of her mother’s apartment.

Wynonna leans up against the wall on the other side of the hallway. “You don’t have to,” she reminds Nicole.

Nicole sighs. “I need to,” she says, raising her fist for the umpteenth time to knock. “Fuck,” she breathes out, dropping her fist. “Why can’t I just knock?”

“I can knock for you, if you want me to,” Wynonna offers.

“No,” Nicole says. “No, I can do it.” She takes in a deep breath and lets it out. “Here we go. C’mon, Haught.” She raises her fist again and this time she actually knocks. She bounces on the balls of her feet until she hears the latch on the door. She looks scarily at Wynonna, her eyes wide.

“Settle down, Haught,” Wynonna says, offering a consoling hand on Nicole’s shoulder. “I’m right here with you.”

Nicole seems to calm at that, her shoulders relaxing just as the door opens.

“Nicole?” Candice questions, her eyebrows raised. “What’re you doing here? Don’t you have class at The Academy?”

“Hi, mom,” Nicole says gently, rubbing the back of her neck. “We, uh, we have a week off for Spring Break.”

Candice smiles, opening the door wider. “Come on in,” she says and Wynonna and Nicole walk into her apartment. “Did you girls fly here?”

Nicole shakes her head. “We drove,” she tells her mother, “in a minibus.”

Candice grabs a couple of glasses out of the cabinet and pours them some lemonade. “How was the drive?” She asks, offering the two of them the glasses full of lemonade.

“Not too bad,” Nicole says. She takes a sip of the lemonade.

Wynonna takes a drink of the lemonade and sets the glass down on the counter. “Where’s the bathroom?” She asks.

“Down the hall, to your left,” Candice tells her.

“Excuse me,” Wynonna says softly before she disappears down the hallway.

“So what brings you to New York?” Candice asks Nicole. “And where’s Waverly?”

“She and Chrissy went on a mini vacation to Toronto,” Nicole says. “I came to New York to see you.”

“You did?” Candice asks. “Well, I’m thrilled about that.”

Nicole smiles. “Yeah?” She questions.

Candice nods. “Yeah,” she confirms. “I know I don’t get back to Purgatory a lot, but I just get so busy here. Plus, you and I haven’t spoken since the Thanksgiving dinner when we all got into a screaming match.”

Nicole tenses up at the thought of the memory. “Yeah, that dinner wasn’t the greatest,” she says.

“I know I didn’t at least try to call, but things got busy here,” Candice says. “And I know that’s no excuse. I know that you’re my daughter and you come before anything else-“

“But I don’t,” Nicole says, interrupting her mother.

“What?” Candice asks, her eyebrows furrowed.

“I don’t come before anything else, mom,” Nicole says. “Maybe I used to, but that was before you left.” She shakes her head and tries to ignore the tears building up in her eyes. “You _left_ dad and me. You _abandoned_ me.”

“Nicole, we’ve talked about this,” Candice says.

“No, we haven’t,” Nicole says exasperatingly. “We’ve both beaten around the bush, too afraid to say the truth about it all. I can’t do that anymore, mom. Because you came back to town like nothing even happened, like you didn’t turn both dad’s and my world upside down.”

“I told you my reasons for leaving,” Candice says. “Your dad and I also had a heart-to-heart about it after I came back to Purgatory.”

“ _We_ never did,” Nicole says, gesturing between her mother and her. “All you did was hug me and tell me you loved me.”

“Is that not enough?” Candice asks just as Wynonna walks back into the room.

Nicole sets her glass of lemonade down on the counter. “No!” She shouts, her chin quivering. “No, mom, it’s not enough. Not when you left dad and me like we never meant anything to you. You think hugging me and telling me you love me is just going to make all of the pain you caused go away?”

“Of course not,” Candice says. “But what else was I supposed to do?”

“You could’ve stayed,” Nicole says. “Then none of this would’ve happened. You would still be at home. I wouldn’t be so Goddamn broken. Dad would be okay.”

“I couldn’t have stayed, Nicole,” Candice tells Nicole.

“Yeah, because you’re a coward,” Nicole spits out. “You could’ve stayed and went to therapy with dad. Hell, you could’ve at least talked to us about how you were feeling, but you didn’t. You just…you just _left_.”

“To protect you,” Candice says.

“Protect me from what, huh?” Nicole asks.

“If I would’ve stayed, I would’ve turned cold,” Candice tells Nicole. “I would’ve turned into someone you resented.”

“You leaving didn’t help that case,” Nicole says.

“What do you want me to do, Nicole?” Candice asks. “I tried coming to visit you and that didn’t work. I tried keeping a relationship with you after I came back to Purgatory and that didn’t work either.”

“I want you to talk to me,” Nicole tells her mother. “I want you to tell me everything so that maybe I can see things from your point of view. I want to understand better.”

“Okay,” Candice says. “Will you at least let me take the both of you to lunch?”

Nicole looks at Wynonna, who nods. “Okay,” Nicole says. “Promise me we’re going to talk about everything, though.”

“I promise,” Candice says.

—

“So you and dad were fighting a lot?” Nicole asks.

Candice nods. “We fought all of the time,” she tells Nicole. “He wanted to go to therapy, but I said no. I know it was stupid of me not to want to, but I think that part of me knew that we were doomed. And then one day I woke up and I needed to get out of there. I felt useless to the two of you and I thought that leaving you guys would give you both a chance to have a fresh start.”

“We didn’t get a fresh start,” Nicole says. “Dad became silent. He busied himself with so much work that he was never home. I was broken. I pushed everyone away. I almost lost Waverly. I wanted to give up on basketball and school, but Wynonna was the one who pushed me to stay on the right track.”

“I’m so sorry for everything that I put you through, Nicole,” Candice says. “I know that it was incredibly selfish of me to leave you and your dad, but I also had to take care of myself. I would’ve gone mad if I would’ve stayed.”

“Yeah, but if you would’ve talked to us about what you were feeling, then we could’ve worked something out,” Nicole says. “Sure, I would’ve been devastated that you and dad were going to get a divorce, but I would’ve understood. You could’ve moved out and did what you needed to do and we could’ve worked out a visiting schedule.”

“You’ve always been a smart kid,” Candice says. “I guess that I was in such a hurry to get out of Purgatory that I didn’t think about any of that.”

Nicole sighs. “I better understand why you left, but it still makes me so sad that you did,” she tells her mother. “But now you’re back in my life and that feels good.”

“It does feel good,” Candice agrees. “I promise you that I’m going to do better.”

“Me, too,” Nicole says.

“We can talk on the phone at least once a week. If not, more,” Candice says. “I can fly to Purgatory every month or so and you could fly here sometimes, too.”

Nicole nods. “That sounds good,” she says, smiling. “It’s good to have you back, mom.”

“It’s good to have you back, too, kid,” Candice says, kissing Nicole on the forehead. “And, Wynonna, thank you for taking care of my girl while I was away.”

Wynonna grins. “Of course,” she says.

“Well, since the two of you are in town for the day, why don’t I show you around?” Candice says.

Nicole nods. “That sounds great,” she says.

“Can we go to Times Square?” Wynonna asks excitedly.

“We definitely can,” Candice says.

Nicole beams.

_Happy,_ Nicole thinks. _I finally feel completely happy._


End file.
